The Seven Days of the Week
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: Sakura and Ino have been up to something they shouldn't...and the jonin in Konoha aren't very happy! The older ninja aren't known for they're pranks...but they'll see what they can do.


Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Argh...don't feel like writing an author's note. Just a oneshot I wrote. Enjoy!

Oh yeah, I think this is my 50th fanfic.

Enjoy!

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There were six training grounds reserved especially for jonin, twenty for chunin (medium sized), and thirty for genin (these were much smaller than the others). There were also five for the teams and for anyone else who might want to use them, plus the Memorial Stone training ground. Some of these practice areas ran far out into Konoha and were unknown to civilians.

One of these elite jonin practice grounds was the home to something that two teenage girls were very fond of. There were seven days in a week, and some of the very best jonin came to train at this place. One for each day, in fact. Monday was Asuma Sarutobi's, as they trained together (they were partners, after all). Tuesdays were Kurenai Yuhi's, Wednesdays were Hiashi Hyuga's, Thursdays were Might Guy's, Fridays were Genma Shiranui and Raido Namiashi's, Saturdays were Ibiki Morino's, and Sundays were Kakashi Hatake's.

Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka stumbled across this oh-so-secret place when looking for a place to eat lunch. Instead they found heaven, finding a shirtless and sweaty Genma sprinting and laughing as he evaded Raido's also shirtless chest. So, who cared if they were gay? They were hot, and Sakura and Ino just came to observe, hiding in the bushes while they ate their lunches. Hey, they didn't have anything better to do, since Naruto was gone with Jiriaya and Ino's team-mates were too busy to care about her. After Sasuke's betrayal they'd pretty much sworn off their generation.

They ended up finding out the jonin' schedules and arranged theirs accordingly. Mondays they spent an hour and a half in their hiding spot, watching Asuma struggle through that time without a cigarette. He didn't have as many muscles as other jonin, but he was a nice start to the work week. They skipped Tuesday, Kurenai's day, to train. Wednesday was Hiashi, and they spent only half an hour there before scampering off. He was muscular but he was also old and the father of one of their close friends. Plus, his eyes also felt like they were watching the girls, like, _all the time_. It was creepy. They avoided Thursdays like the plague, neither of them desiring to see Guy train. Fridays were amazing, since Genma and Raido weren't afraid to express their affection for each other while not wearing shirts. Sometimes the girls would think one of them had winked at them and would blink suddenly to find that it's been a trick of their mind. It had taken them some time to consider approaching Ibiki, but when they had they hadn't regretted it. Ibiki was hot as hell when you ignored the massive scars (Sakura had conditioned Ino to do so by teaching her some medical techniques) and they enjoyed watching his massive muscle-bound body punch…things and do…stuff.

Kakashi was the prize of the weekend however. At first Sakura had had qualms about spying on her own teacher. That was, until she'd seen his body. Lean, with a six-pack visible even from underneath his muscle shirt, Sakura and Ino spend one of their two weekend days watching the Sharingan user train for almost six hours, popcorn included. He was there when they got there and there when they left, so he was always glistening with manly sweat when they got there. He never took his shirt off, since that would mean taking his attached mask off, but his shirt was so tight that they could drool anyway. And don't get them started on his arms…

They spied for months. Their schedule became a habit, and their popcorn supply was continually being replaced.

That is, until the single most embarrassing week of their lives happened.

It was Monday. Sakura and Ino were hidden in their favorite bush, waiting for Asuma to show up. He was late, and they were bored.

"Do you think he went somewhere else?" asked Sakura, whispering. They usually didn't talk much, fearing someone would find out their secret.

Ino opened her mouth to respond and shut it again quickly. They both heard it. A moan from only a few feet away.

"Should we go?"

"He could be in trouble!" replied Sakura softly.

"Yeah." said Ino.

Truth be told, it didn't sound like a pain moan. It sounded like a pleasure moan. They crept toward the noise, which repeated. Over and over. They found Asuma with his back to them and his pants around his ankles. The two girls froze.

"I…" he gasped. The girls didn't even breathe.

"In..o..ichi…"

His hands were right in front of him, and there was no doubt in their mind of what he was doing. Ino's jaw dropped open and her heart froze and then exploded in a bloody, gory, mess.

They crept far away before collapsing in hysterics, Sakura comforting Ino as she sobbed about how her sensei was in love with her father. He was supposed to fall in love with Kurenai! How could he be gay? How could he be in love with _Ino's father!_

Sakura felt for Ino, she really did, and seeing Asuma masturbate to the image of Inoichi had been disturbing, but she could help but laugh the moment she was alone.

They spent the next day recovering enough that they could bear to watch Hiashi train. Nothing odd happened, and their popcorn tasted just as good. That was, until they were returning from the training grounds an hour later. They had only been walking in the streets for about ten minutes before they heard someone cough next to them. Ino glanced over, saw who it was, and let her mouth form an O.

"What is it?" asked Sakura, jolted to awareness by Ino's sudden halt.

"Er…" said Ino intelligently.

"Huh?" Sakura followed her friend's gaze and fell silent. Standing next ot them was Hiashi Hyuga himself.

"Hello." whispered Ino.

"Good morning." said Hiashi cheerily. The fact that he looked almost happy was scary in itself. Sakura and Ino had always been terrified of what the man would do if he'd found out that they'd been spying on him.

"G-good morning." stuttered Sakura.

"It's fortunate I ran into you two. Would you mind coming back with me to the Hyuga compound?"

"Why?" asked Ino, horrified.

"You don't need to look like someone killed your cat. I'd just like to ask you a few questions."

Hiashi stood out like a sore thumb with his tall stature, dark kimono, and long brown hair. Sakura and Ino felt like disobedient children, following him home in order to get punished.

They Hyuga compound was stark and bleak, and the girls felt like they had walked into a cemetery. They passed solemn violet-eyed people who just glared at them. It was silent and dreary and not fun whatsoever.

"Tea?" asked Hiashi as soon as they had sat down on the traditional Konoha-style flooring.

"No thanks," said Sakura at the same moment Ino squeaked, "Sure." Hiashi smiled as he had an assistant bring them all tea, included Sakura.

"Now, I believe you know my nephew," started Hiashi. "Neji?"

The two girls breathed a sigh of relief. Thank god.

"Yeah." replied Sakura.

"Ah, good. And you two were there at the Chunin Exams, were you not?"

"Er, yeah, we were." said Ino.

"Also good. Then you know our family's position. I would like to ask something of you two, something not to be taken lightly. How well do you know Neji?"

"Not that well," admitted the girls. "We see him now and then. He's nicer now that he lost to Naruto in the Final Round."

"I've noticed," chuckled Hiashi. "Yes, well, and this is rather awkward, but Neji is getting to the age where we have to find him a suitable wife."

He paused, and the two girls stared at him in horror.

"Would either of you consider consenting to marry my nephew?" asked Hiashi sweetly.

The two girls stuttered and stammered, and Hiashi sipped at his tea while they tried to get out of it. Amazing. This was working out just as he planned.

"Well, we don't really know him, I mean, neither of us are on great terms with him, and we're not ready to marry, and, and, oh, I don't want to marry Neji." cried Sakura, immediately covering her mouth afterwards.

Hiashi sighed dramatically. "Are you sure?"

"Positive." said Ino, Sakura bobbing her head at the same time.

Hiashi slowly got up. "I'll go break the news to Neji. He'll be so devastated…"

He walked off, leaving the two girls flabbergasted. They found their way out of the compound themselves and head home, hopefully to have time to recover from what was turning out to be a very scary day.

They skipped Thursday- they had no inclination to see Guy. However, by doing this they built up their confidence to go see Genma and Raido practice their water jutsu. Their oldest boys were some of the best, and they wouldn't miss water day even with an engagement with Chouji.

Yet again they became comfortable while watching, enjoying it immensely as Genma shed his shirt and Raido wiped water and sweat off his brow. Genma winked before whipping out several hidden kunai from who-knows-where and attempting to pelt Raido with them, only succeeding to pin him to a tree. Sakura and Ino glanced at each other and figured Raido would help him out of it.

"You all right there?" called Genma, tree-hopping over to where Raido was pinned. Sakura and Ino's eyes bobbed up and down as they watched Genma's muscles. Ah, how entrancing.

"I'm fine." huffed Raido.

"Good," said Genma, examining him without removing the kunai. "I like this position. I think this'll be fun."

"Hey, man, what're you planning?" Raido eyed Genma warily.

"Somethin' kinky." Genma kissed him, and Raido struggled against the kunai stopping him from moving.

Sakura and Ino stared at each other in horror, awe, and a good amount of suppressed squealing.

Genma bent down to loosen Raido's pants. Raido's eyebrows shot up. "You're going to do that here?"

"Where else? It's not like anyone's watching us."

Ino and Sakura covered each others' mouths with their hands, making sure neither of them squealed.

Raido rolled his eyes before emitting a large enough amount of chakra that Sakura and Ino nearly fell over. The kunai fell from the tree and the older man pushed Genma to the ground. "We'll see how your plans works now."

And then they were kissing and Raido was reaching into Genma's pants, Raido shirt being slowly removed by Genma. The broke apart long enough for Genma to finally pull the shirt over Raido's head.

"Your turn to bottom." panted Genma.

Raido winked and they tussled on the ground a little before Genma lifted up Raido's legs and positioned them around him. He leaned in for a kiss and then he-

And they were gone. Ino and Sakura looked at each other in shock when the cloud of smoke appeared out of nowhere and consumed the pair of lovers.

"Where'd…where'd they go?" stuttered Sakura.

Ino gaped. "I don't know."

"That looked like the way Kakashi transports…did they go home for some privacy?"

"I think so."

Disappointed, the two girls trudged home to wait for the next day, when Ibiki would be training and they could finally fill their capacity of sexy ninja for the week.

When they got to the training grounds the next day, Saturday, nothing was wrong and the girls let their eyes gloss over and ignore his scars and take in his chest instead. He trained rigorously, since he could only find time away from T&I once a week, and that just added to the appeal, since people who work harder sweat more.

After they finished watching him they decided to take a break at a teahouse. They had only been there for ten minutes when two serious looking Chunin approached the girls.

"Hello?" asked Sakura curiously, sipping at her tea.

"We need you to come with us." said one stoically.

"Why?"

"Our superior has not specified that." said the other.

Sakura and Ino bit their lips. Had they done anything wrong recently?

"Who's your superior?" asked Sakura.

"He is someone of importance. That is all you need to know."

"From the T&I department?" asked Ino, rolling her eyes.

The Chunin looked startled at that information. "Er, yes."

"Dad always tells me the T&I guys introduce themselves like that," explained Ino. "They can be really pompous sometimes."

"Will you come peacefully or will we have to make you?" asked Chunin 1.

"I guess we have to."

The girls got up, paid their bill, and followed the chunin down the street. Once they reached an alleyway the chunin stopped.

"We are about to enter an authorized personnel only area. We request that you wear these blindfolds."

"Yeah, s-sure." stuttered Sakura. They put the blindfolds on and followed them through many turning passageways.

The girls thought they passed a few people on the way, but could only tell by the whisper of air as the nearly soundless ANBU walked by. They trudged wherever they were led, worrying their minds off as they did so. This had to be serious, whatever this was. What had they done? This couldn't be just about spying on the guy. Had someone died? Where they going to die?

Their blindfolds were finally removed and they were pushed into a small room. Sakura and Ino looked into each others' wide eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. The room they were in had a desk littered with paperwork, a reclining chair, and metal office cabinets. Other than that, it was bare. And there was no one in it but them.

They waited for almost thirty minutes before they heard stomping and the door was thrown open. The two girls jumped practically a foot in the air.

It was Ibiki Morino. Tall, large, scary, terrifying, imposing…the list went on. He chuckled inside at the looks on their faces. Ok, maybe he was a sadist.

And then he laughed. Not inside, outside. He laughed hard and loud at them and said nothing else, watching their faces change to terror. And then he left, his coat swinging behind him.

"You may go." said a chunin dutifully.

They nearly fainted, but managed to wander out of the top-secret building un-blindfolded and make it home. Where they collapsed.

The next day they avoided the training grounds, not caring that it was Kakashi's day. They just wanted to live.

"Hey."

The two girls jolted up from their tea, easily startled. "H-Hey."

It was Kakashi. They started sweating profusely immediately.

"So, have you two learned your lesson?"

His eye was curved shut and they smiled weakly in return.

"Y-yeah." stuttered Sakura.

"By the way, Genma and Raido don't mind if you continue visiting them. They just joined in for the fun. The rest of us…we just didn't like our privacy bubble popped, especially Ibiki." Kakashi grinned at them, and Sakura felt like a moron.

"You knew the whole time?"

"The whole time. We _are_ jonin."

"Sorry." chorused the girls.

"Don't do it again." Kakashi waved as he leapt away on the rooftops.

The teens sighed. Maybe they were going to swear off that generation too.

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So? What'd you think?

Review!


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